im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
