i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You made out with two different species that night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
