is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
