lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
