My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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