I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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