We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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