Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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