Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
