So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
