We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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