you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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