I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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