Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
