I got chris browned last night
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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