Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
