My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
