You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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