they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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