Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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