who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
