I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
