there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
