so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
