Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
