what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
did i just pee glitter
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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