Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
