Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
