dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
