Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
