I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize