his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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