She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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