But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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