i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
