"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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