It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
