I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
