do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
