I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
