yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize