well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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