it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
