so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
