so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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