weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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