But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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