Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
babies were throwing up all over the place
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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