sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
