brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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