I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
