It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
