If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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