Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
