So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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