considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
