no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
