So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Randomize
