cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
