Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
