Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
