Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
