Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
